Skirting the Abyss

I know that this blog says “Philosophy Sunday,” (but Funky, it’s Tuesday!) but I wasn’t really up to writing this then….I don’t think I am up to it now, but I will at least give you a little bit of a heads up as to why I haven’t really written anything in so long….

So I have…had a dog, Precious. She was almost 16 years old. In the summer, I had called a vet to come out, because I felt it would have been in her best interest to go ahead and put her down, because she was urinating all over the house, and attacking our other dog and the cat. Her hips were getting bad, she had a huge lump on her leg, and she was going both deaf and blind. The vet said no.

So I did what I told him I was going to have to do, and made her an outside dog. For the next three months, I had to watch her deteriorate further and further. She was having a very hard time walking. She was getting stuck in her dog house, or behind it…eventually she could no longer stand up. Finally, my aunt gave me her vet’s number.

Yesterday, I had her put to sleep.

I still cannot talk about that just yet. But if you have read any of my other posts, then you might be aware that I have some serious issues with death. This is no exception. I am caught in between denial and anger–I’m really trying to cling to denial because I want to be numb….but I am angry. I haven’t figured out who exactly I am mad at…but it is pretty bad. I won’t go into it.

Anyway, that is the reason that I have not really written anything. I’m wrapped up in my grief….




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