The First Year of Marriage: a Review.

06/13/14, our wedding day!

06/13/14, our wedding day!

Yesterday was my first wedding anniversary and yes we got married on Friday the thirteenth.  Why you ask?  Because we are odd and in that way perfectly suited to each other.

I approached the first year with a small amount of trepidation.  You always hear that the first year of marriage is the hardest, with all the adjustments inherent in melding your life with someone else’s.  I needn’t have worried.  We had already lived together for a year and a half before we were married and apparently went through most of our adjustments during that period.  I won’t say that the past year has been nothing but continual wedded bliss but it has been pretty great!  What follows is my top two favorite things about being married so far.

First off you may hear that once you’re married the magic dies almost immediately and what follows is a string of arguments and hurt feelings leading inevitably to bitterness, disdain for your partner and divorce.  I have found the opposite to be true.  Before we made the commitment to be together forever every disagreement had to be hashed out and fully understood lest we remain ignorant of our partners faults and enter the marriage state unprepared.  This was not the first serious relationship for either one of us and the dissolution of those previous relationships left us a bit wary of repeating our mistakes.  Neither one of us wanted to marry the wrong person and there was always the knowledge in the back of our heads that if we wanted out; we could still get out with comparatively little damage done.  Once we got married and said those vows to each other, most if not all of those doubts disappeared.  We are the kind of people who will kill ourselves trying to keep our word and trying to keep from hurting those we love.  Now when a disagreement arises we ask ourselves if this is something we want to be fighting about for the next thirty or forty or fifty years and put that way, the differences seem small indeed and the fight seems hardly worth the trouble.

The second thing about marriage that I love is how you become a smaller part of a bigger whole.  I can honestly say that although I have always been in relatively good shape and, at least in theory, have always been interested in being healthy.  I have never cared enough about it to really delve deep into the subject and educate myself.  My husband however loves this kind of thing, nutrition and exercise are mothers milk to him.  So without having to put out much effort myself, other than showing up to the gym with a good attitude, I find myself with a personal trainer and nutritionist.  Being married is like having a second brain, one that you can access at any given time, but that you don’t have to maintain and educate.  For someone like me who really believes that the meaning of life is to learn and grow as individuals as much and as long as you can, this is a truly great thing indeed!

So in conclusion, yay marriage and bring on the next year!

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